Eight Things Meme

I'm going to go a bit counterculture here and neglect to paste in the rules of the meme. I don't feel like these rules are so crucial to understanding what this is all about, and I'm not always that big on thinking that the rules always have to apply!


1. I often drink water (cold NYC tap is the best) with a few drops of lemon juice concentrate added in. Or sometimes seltzer with the same add-in. Ann has the habit of referring to this as "melon water" and can't get the word "lemon" straight. I'm so used to hearing it that I now refer to it as melon water myself. Speaking of, RaggedyDad, can you make me some melon water with ice and a straw?

2. I like to bake, and baking means eggs. I use a specific glass for cracking the eggs into for checking blood spots, and I still mentally think "No red!" whenever the egg is clean (almost always). Since Ann and Andy are usually on the step-ladder next to me, I taught them to check from on top and from underneath the glass and to call out "No red!" too. Andy's egg announcement sounds more like "Aaah-Re!"

3. For several years after moving here from Israel at age 5, I hardly used my Hebrew (aside from being able to coast through Hebrew language tasks at school) but luckily I got it back for the most part when I was ready to get into it again. These days I push myself to use it whenever I can (with Ann's teachers, in half of the stores around here, etc.), glaring errors and all.

4. Usually, at some point on my birthday, I cry. Not because of getting older, since I still feel like I'm about 16. I guess it's probably out of nostalgia and the sadness of time passing. As a kid, I was often away at camp on my birthday, and it just felt very empty being away from home on my birthday.

5. My aunt is a nurse-midwife and delivered me. And I spent my first day in the world in an incubator because I was small.

6. Even though I cook a good deal these days, I have a mental block when it comes to potatoes. When it comes the differences in cooking and peeling approaches to mashed potatoes vs. potatoes for potato salad, etc., I have to quickly consult with the man of the house.

7. I don't know how to ride a bike. Awful, I know. My brothers were teaching me and got impatient. If I remember correctly, they took the training wheels off too soon and then got bored and went to go play Pole Position or something (I can still hear that droning sound in my memory!). Hence, I still can't ride a bike. RaggedyDad, who rode his own bike for miles to and from school, tried to teach me last summer in Belgium, but his sister's bike was a poor fit and I was pretty hopeless in my apprehension.

8. My mother has two sisters and one brother. Her sisters both have only sons. So I'm my grandmother's only granddaughter through one of her own daughters. Being that I'm my mother's only daughter, Ann is (so far) the only continuation of the "chain of women" phenomenon in our family.


I think that most people I'd tag have either done this already or been tagged. If anyone who hasn't been tagged yet wants to do this meme, consider yourself tagged!

p.s. triLcat, the Polarity Meme is my next one, although I may do a somewhat abridged version!

Tzniut Meme

A Mother in Israel recently started a great set of questions for discussion among the she-bloggers. I'm going to try to address them in this post.

1. For married women, do you dress by the same standards as you did when you got married?

We've been married for 5 and a half years. I think that my standards for dress have remained pretty much the same during that time. However, I do think that in the last couple of years, I have come to a place of greater comfort with my own standards, rather than feel like I am falling short of others' standards, or worrying that I ought to be pushing myself to adopt stricter standards. I think this has more to do with becoming more confident in my decisions as I get older than it does with spirituality.

2. Also for married women, do you and your husband conflict about this issue?

RaggedyDad is pretty easygoing about these issues, and I get the sense that if I wanted to make changes in one direction or another, he'd likely be fine with it. I do get (negative) input from him if what I wear looks like an overly dowdy attempt to cover, cover, cover. But, I try not to take fashion advice overly seriously from a man who wears socks with sandals.

3. Have your standards changed from when you were growing up, and why?

Yes. I wore pants and short sleeves (though not sleeveless - not sure why) until some point during college. Covering my hair is not something I really thought I'd ever consider. As I started to take on more in terms of observance, I waited until I really felt ready to tackle my dress. When I felt more comfortable in skirts, and later, with covered elbows, than not, I was ready. But without any immediate, absolute decision or public proclamation.

4. Do you often feel uncomfortable when you are in the company of a group keeping higher or lower standards than you?

Being around those with looser standards in tzniut is usually totally comfortable for me. Many of my family members, and some friends, hold to looser standards, and I wouldn't say that this is a concern for me (or my kids as they get older - that's just another challenge of comprehensive chinuch).

If I'm not looking particularly put-together or am in a large crowd of women dressed in looser standards of tzniut, I do sometimes feel a little self-conscious. I'm not focused on being the most fashion-forward, and I think that it's sometimes easier to look 'cute' in pants for a casual look than a casual skirt-outfit. Or, rather, harder to look frumpy in the pants.

If I'm surrounded by many women holding to stricter standards of tzniut, I'm also a little uncomfortable, more so than among those with looser standards. If I know I'm going to be in such a situation, I often won't wear something "borderline" and will try to conform for that occasion. In that regard, I like that my neighborhood and chevra is rather mixed in this regard.

5. If you have ever suddenly changed your standard of dress, did people treat you differently or make approving/disapproving remarks?

I haven't made many sudden changes, though covering my hair was an obvious exception - before my wedding and after! - but that was anticipated. It's interesting, I have one sister-in-law, "S," who covers every strand of hair, and holds to a very strict, chassidish interpretation in all aspects of tznius. I have another sister-in-law, "L," who wears pants, sleeveless, and uncovered hair.

A family acquaintance once approached my mother in a pizza shop (I was there with my daughter, and I was in earshot) and said, "What did you do wrong with [RaggedyMom] and what about "S"?? The only one who turned out normal [vis a vis dressing style] was "L"!" Ouch. But I have gotten some positive feedback from a more right-wing member of the family.

6. How accepting is your community of women who "deviate" from the generally accepted mode of dress?

It's difficult to speak for an entire community. In my experience, within the more traditional bounds of Orthodoxy and tznius, this community (KGH) is a diverse and open one. It has moved more to the right a significant amount over the last couple of decades. But there are really all kinds of people here, and I think they all fit in.

There are women who are sheiteled and very dressed up (though not that many). There are women who are sheiteled and more 'heimish'. There are women who totally cover or partially cover their hair with all range of hat, tichel, bandana, or snood. Or not at all. I see pants with covered hair on occasion, and quite a few skirts with uncovered hair. Lots of Israelis live here, and they run the gamut vis a vis tzniut. I see bare toes, socks, stockings, thick stockings.

I'm glad that I don't feel self-conscious about my clothes, both in terms of tzniut and style, living here and going out to grocery shop or pick up Ann from preschool.

7. If you have a daughter, has tzniut become an issue yet?

Ann is turning 4 this summer. As of now, I don't have an immediate plan as to when she'll wear just skirts. In some ways, since my own decision about this was so pressure-free and up to me, it feels awkward to think of setting this guideline for her. However, I realize that her upbringing is quite different from my own.

Some moms have told me not to shop too heavily for pants in advance at this point, since the girls themselves sometimes say they don't want to wear pants if that's the way most of their friends are dressing. We'll see. I do find that girls' clothes (and even shoes!) these days are sometimes way too sexy or suggestive for our very young girls, and that bothers me. Even if I were not religiously observant, I would not feel comfortable with tight, very short, or revealing clothes for Ann.


Reading the responses of others, and posting my own, has been thought provoking. Thanks, Mother in Israel!

I forgot about tagging - SWFM, Baleboosteh, TorontoPearl, and Orieyenta - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts if you'd like! Sort of a cross-world geographical weigh-in.

Act Weird and Let Them Wonder

The title is taken from a pin I used to wear on my backpack before I sold out to the man and became a grownup. SWFM tagged me with this meme. I like the idea of finding out six quirky things about fellow bloggers. I do think that if I filled this out tomorrow the list would be totally different. Weird, huh?

Without any further delay . . .

Six Weird Things About RaggedyMom

1. Growing up, I always felt very weird and out of place in my family. I’m the only girl (besides mom), the only real redhead, the only one with blue eyes, the only lefty. Will RaggedyMom’s real family please come to take me back to our home planet already?!

2. Macaroni with cottage cheese and ketchup is a great meal as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know anyone besides my brothers and my own kids who would ever eat this.

3. In the hottest of weather, I must have the blanket up to my chin and around me like a cocoon. Embrace the cocoon.

4. As a child I hated being photographed so much that there are several family shots that include me completely turned around with my back to the camera.

5. I love to sing out loud around the house, in the car, and even in a very low undertone in a parking lot or other public place. Having kids with you makes this look a little less crazy.

6. My birthday is the same as my area code. (7/18)

Let's see . . . I think I'll tag Table Nine, Hila, and Oriyenta. Good luck, weirdos. Venture forth.

My very first meme

Many thanks to Baleboosteh for tagging me with this meme. I'm not going to go all rock-star here and pretend I don't like these things, and ain't this a drag, and blah blah blah. As a very new blogger, this is kind of exciting. I put my "yes" answers in capital letters. But naturally, I felt the need to comment on several of my "no"s too.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN. Maybe more like a hill.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive. No, although I sat inside a Jaguar at the car show once and had an emotional little moment there.
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. TAKEN A CANDLELIT BATH WITH SOMEONE
08. SAID "I LOVE YOU AND MEANT IT"
09. HUGGED A TREE. This was a hobby of my five-year-old self.
10. Bungee jumped. Noooooo Waaaaay Everrrrr.
11. VISITED PARIS. RaggedyDad and I once took a one-day side trip from Belgium, land of "Family of RaggedyDad"
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AND SAW THE SUN RISE
14. Seen the Northern Lights. Unless you count the fire trucks going down my street at all hours.
15. GONE TO A HUGE SPORTS GAME. Jewish Day at Shea, anyone?
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa. Woah, talk about shlepping.
17. GROWN AND EATEN YOUR OWN VEGETABLES
18. Touched an iceberg
19. SLEPT UNDER THE STARS
20. CHANGED A BABY'S DIAPER. There hasn't been a day in the last three and a half years when I have NOT done this.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. GOTTEN DRUNK ON CHAMPAGNE. Not hard for RaggedyLowToleranceMom
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. LOOKED UP AT THE NIGHT SKY WITH A TELESCOPE
26. HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLING FIT at the worst possible moment
27. HAD A FOOD FIGHT. Note to self - RaggedyDad will always win the food fight.
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT. Note to self - RaggedyDad will always win the snowball fight.
31. SCREAMED AS LOUDLY as you possibly can. Childbirth, anyone?
32. HELD A LAMB. Note to self - RaggedyDad will always win the lamb fight. Just kidding. I'm getting really good at throwing lambs.
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. RIDDEN A ROLLER-COASTER. Barf!
35. Hit a home run
36. DANCED LIKE A FOOL and not cared who was looking
37. ADOPTED AN ACCENT for an entire day. Likely without even noticing I was doing it.
38. ACTUALLY FELT HAPPY about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer. Maybe. Ask RaggedyDad.
40. Visited all 50 states. Wait, Ezzie - there are other states outside of New York? :) I've probably only about a dozen or so, if even.
41. TAKEN CARE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS DRUNK
42. HAD AMAZING FRIENDS
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales. What's with this meme and ocean life?
45. Stolen a sign. No, just took it off a shelf at Brach's to prove that, in fact, salami was on sale.
46. BACKPACKED IN EUROPE. Actually, this should read Diaperbagged through Europe. With a double stroller. And enough kosher food for two weeks. And a massive headache.
47. TAKEN A ROAD TRIP
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach. Who stays up that late on purpose?
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland. Everyone thinks I'm Irish, though. Why?!
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. MILKED A COW
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. LOUNGED AROUND in bed all day. Maybe about 10 years ago.
60. Played touch football. No, just had to hold the football while my brothers practiced tackling. Really.
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed IN THE RAIN
63. Played in the mud
64. Played IN THE RAIN
65. GONE TO A DRIVE-IN THEATER. When I was a camp counselor, this was considered the coolest day-off thing to do ever.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. FALLEN IN LOVE and not had your heart broken
69. TOURED ANCIENT SITES. Like freaky Belgian monk crypts.
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight. What is that?
72. GOTTEN MARRIED
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. MADE COOKIES FROM SCRATCH
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. GOT FLOWERS FOR NO REASON
84. PERFORMED ON STAGE
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. BOUGHT A HOME. Bought an apartment that is.
91. Been in a combat zone. Does Shimon's Pizza the night after Pesach count?
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. SPOKEN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE FLUENTLY
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. RAISED CHILDREN. A work in progress.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. SANG LOUDLY IN THE CAR, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery. Does fixing toys count as doing plastic surgery?
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. WROTE ARTICLES for a large publication. Which publication is larger or more significant than the Queens College Knight News?!
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback. What??
108. Piloted an airplane
109. TOUCHED A STINGRAY
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. BROKEN A BONE. 1987. Jungle Gym. Left arm. (and I'm a lefty!)
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. FIRED A RIFLE, shotgun, or pistol. We actually did this at my crazy camp.
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. RIDDEN A HORSE. Note to self - If your horse is named Jughead, don't be surprised if he tends to walk into trees.
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. SLEPT FOR MORE than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours. Benadryl. Massive mosquito bites. Same camp.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states. RaggedyDad has done this.
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. EATEN SUSHI. Whenever I can - I'm not over how cool it is yet.
128. HAD YOUR PICTURE IN THE NEWSPAPER
129. CHANGED SOMEONE'S MIND about something you care deeply about
130. GONE BACK TO SCHOOL. I went back every day until I was finished, degrees in hand.
131. Parasailed
132. TOUCHED A COCKROACH. With a shoe, that is.
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. READ THE ILLIAD AND THE ODDYSEY. Mainly I just listened very, very well in class.
135. SELECTED ONE "IMPORTANT" AUTHOR who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Eww, what is this, survivor?
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. COMMUNICATED WITH someone without sharing a common spoken language. RaggedyDad's Babushka and me - Smile and Nod 101.
139. BEEN ELECTED (DICTATOR) to public office. I was elected Communist Party Leader of my high school, if you can believe it.
140. Written your own computer language
141. THOUGHT TO YOURSELF that you're living your dream. This is oddly phrased.
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair. No, but old ladies used to stop me and ask me to come to the salons because they wanted my color. I'm very popular with the 65+ set.
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Tagging: TableNine, Hila, SWFM.